2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

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2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

Post  B4p on Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:39 pm

I was feeling moody, listening to Neil Diamond in the car singing 'Love on the rocks', when a little voice in my ear started singing 'Hole in my socks'.   I got a bit carried away on a generic ditty for all the celebs whose feet are hurting.

tune - Love On The Rocks (Neil Diamond)

http://youtu.be/kDLbS9385HM

Tough on the socks,
ain’t no big lie.
Tore me a chink,
and it tripled in size.
Rough in dance shoes
so you cuss, cos they’re new. It’s a crime.

Joking apart,
noticed the cold.
Let out a groan. Peered,
saw nothing but holes.
Insoles had gone.
Damage was done.
It was vile.

Curse those holes that taunt you.
See, how your blistered heel’s through.
Suddenly your toes are out there,
walking off your corns.
Though they glow so bad you
bend, like someones stabbed you.
Putting on dance shoes to sway,
Elastoplasts RU today,
The oil goes on.

My feet look like meat,
Torode has worked on.
Got such black and blue,
that the feeling’s all gone.
Flaky, choux, pie, or puff,
It ain’t cool, when you‘re rough like a rock.

Worst is when they want you,
jumping up and down to,
music that you’d never dance to,
made before you’re born.
Then they go and clad you,
in lycra that just clings to,
all the places that each day,
you’ve done your best to hide away,
for much too long.

Shoved on new socks.
Thicker. They’re nice.
All sparkly and pink,
and in a mans size.
he don’t know they’re gone
(Got Vernon’s name on),
I just smile….
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Re: 2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

Post  saxonsiren on Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:50 am

Excellent!
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Re - 2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

Post  Poppetlovestango on Wed Sep 24, 2014 11:34 am

B4p brilliant
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Re: 2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

Post  B4p on Wed Sep 24, 2014 12:20 pm

thank you both

I'm a bit rusty, but there's a still few embers glowing deep in that wooden noggin of my head Laughing
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Re: 2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

Post  TANGOLERO on Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:45 pm

Posted here by dint of a request from B4p...

Tess isn't quite pickling my walnuts, Sid and I feel an ode coming on: Sung to a certain refrain from South Pacific under the show director's window....

There is nothing like a Br uce, nothing in this world,
Though his teeth are rather loose, there is nothing just like a Br uce.

There are no jokes like a Br uce, make you choke like a Br uce,
No one moans like a Br uce, answers phones like a Br uce..
And there's nothing wrong with anyone here that can't be cured by putting em near..
A soft-shoe shuffling, rubbish wuffling.....Br uce.

We've got tables, Spanish waiters, umbrellas by the score
If we run out of spray-tan we can always send for more
We've got glitter on tuxedos and fake tomato juice,
What ain't we go, we ain't got Br uce.

We got nothing to put on a programme mute for...
And we can't get Tess to put on an evening suit for....

There is nothing like a Br uce, nothing on TV
Though he never was much use, there is nothing at B.B.C.

We've got Tess in stylish glad rags playing mainly by the book
And Claude preferring bin-bags and an Adams Family look
Dave Arch and co are flying like a freshly roasted goose,
But what ain't we got, we've got no Br uce....

Tess is fine as Santa's helper, helping Br uce surmount the stairs
She just can't replace his quick-wit though she doesn't like his flares
Though his jokes are nineteen fifty and he isn't that much use,
Strictly just ain't quite the same now that we ain't got ......BR UCE.


Repeat chorus ad-infinitum. lol!
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Re: 2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

Post  B4p on Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:47 pm

cheers Thanks Tango cheers  
I love a bit of South Pacific. 'Though his teeth are rather loose....' brilliant
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Re: 2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

Post  B4p on Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:15 pm

Based on the ditty 'Chick, chick, chick, chicken, lay a little egg for me'

Pick pick pick pick picking,
say a little prayer for me,
cos from where I’m sitting,
they’ve got it in for me.
They’re out to try and find the weakness
of dance celebrities.
Now the clock is ticking,
four judges closing in on me.

Pick pick pick pick picking,
say a little prayer for me.
He rarely bothers sitting,
and looks half out his tree.
Likes to see a strong performance,
and gives one back for free.
10 from headless chicken.
Couldn’t help himself you see.

Pick pick pick pick picking,
say a little prayer for me.
when it comes to footwork,
he’s likes it foot fault free.
Loves to see a hair free top-line,
a sway from soft flexed knees.
Either ‘finger-lickin’,
or ‘too much faffing round for me’.

Then you’ve got Miss Picky,
(say a little prayer for me).
She keeps saying ‘picky’
in one word out of three.
‘Smooth’ and ‘crisp’ and ‘cleanly’
with ‘more extension’ please.
‘Lengthen through the spine, yah’
‘pull your shoulders down’ for me.

Pick pick pick pick picking,
say a little prayer for me.
I’ve got Strictly’s Dark Lord
glowering at me.
Bought-one-got one-free on botox,
Perpetual face deep freeze.
Even if you kissed old fish face,
he’d still give you a three.
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Re: 2014 Songs, Rhymes, Verse & Worse

Post  saxonsiren on Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:37 am

Bravo!
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