The Lemon Tart Thread

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The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:22 pm

For all things lemon, tart or acidic. Knock yourselves out Basketball 
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  saxonsiren on Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:37 pm

Whoohooo welcome Lemon Tart! I have to admit that dress was awful! Too tight too bright & not suited for a blonde! I really think our Vanessa could be quite acidic with her voice & moans. Now lemon curd tart I adore scrummy & yummy for some reason I can see Ben & Patrick in yellow chiffon shirts! My kind of lemon curd sandwich! I feel Janette at the moment is a little sour lemom.

I wonder if our Tess will attempt a short version of Lemon Tart? Could we award a lemon Tart award for the worst dredd? Have we a lemon emoticon?

Sax
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:56 pm

Phew sax
you were ready for that wasn't you?

I'm glad Vanessa had a pink dress on last week as every picture I saw of her was in that one custard cream yellow with a froth top creation that looked very Mrs Hamilton but as Nelson would say 'all armless fun innit'.
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  saxonsiren on Sun Oct 06, 2013 10:30 pm

Im coming in here to have a mini lemon acidic rant. Julian darn and blast put a sock in it! Think of someone else before you have a dose of verbal diarrhoea shrieks! Think whilst you were wailing like a beached walrus another couple deserved some support & commiseration! Ill make Julian bloomin dance just in a black bin bag one week for punishment!
Lemon rant over
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Sun Oct 06, 2013 11:28 pm

I think he'd enjoy glitzing up a black bin liner. He's the only male celeb I've heard of that has admitted to training in women's leggings because Janette has to see if his legs are turned out!

Doesn't seem that long ago that sweat pants and a sticky vest were all we saw on the training Vt's. Now it's like fashion central.

Lemon dress, lemon hair, lemon fake tan = nausea attack. Pass the sick bag please

I can see Janette suffering from yellow eyes if Alijas keeps getting thrown at Abbey. My money's on Janette if it's handbags at dawn
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  saxonsiren on Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:59 am

Handbags at dawn! Quite a few to be held there! Vanessa with C.raig & any of the judges! Pasha fighting off a furious Kara because of his glowing partner! Victoria Beckham with a fan for daring to diss the dresses! Julian with costune dept because they meant a plain black bin bag! VB again because just because its Sophie-that number one etc!
Janette I just cannot figure out yet if Ive warmed to her or its just "meh!"

Sax
I wonder if Tess will sell or wear the Lemon Tart dress for Children In Need!?
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Mon Oct 07, 2013 11:08 am

saxonsiren wrote:I wonder if Tess will sell or wear the Lemon Tart dress for Children In Need!?
Wouldn't think, even they were THAT needy Razz
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Fri Oct 11, 2013 7:53 pm

Well I had a little rant after seeing Nancy on this week's ITT Friday night panel.
Must now think happy thoughts and get my blood pressure down.

Nancy who?
What a waste of space.  Miss me-me-me.
Admits she hasn't watched the show. No pearls of wisdom about dance or the meaning of life. I think I caught her 2 'expert' comments:
a) An ton is always the same
b) (in answer to one of Lionel's comments) An ton he doesn't always get his partners out of trouble.
He should have made sure that green boa finished the job - damm!

I'm SO relieved she remembered her Paso and Tango because they had such passion. Not sure I can.
She looks like she's had her head in a bucket of soot and the way she was sliming over the men made me want to reach for the salt.

I therefore award Nancy, who boasted in her intro to dance on Strictly, that she was the most famous thing to come out of Italy (dream on)  this week's Lemon Tart Award.
I feel a re-run of Nancy Who? Strictly song coming on Evil or Very Mad
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  saxonsiren on Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:08 pm

I second The Lemon Tart award to Nancy! I recall on BIGNFY they once had a guest who didn't turn up & popped a block of lard in his place! The green boa would have been a better guest than Nancy!Even Zoe said "Answer that in your own time Nancy! Why is she a simpering cougar to any male near her? This im so delicate I need a man's help,batt an eyelid,fluff the hair & throw the head back in giggles.Plus if you can also smooch the male guests to look uncomfy than Nancy has had a good night!
Lionel is an institution & I never forgot that glare! When Noel Edmunds heckling him!

Sax
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Fri Nov 07, 2014 7:15 pm

The Holmes Family on tonights ITT Friday Night panel sent my blood pressure up something chronic.  Evil or Very Mad

Eammon thought the programme was featuring him and his misguided wittiisms. No and No again! The idea is to talk about the celeb dancers, not his dubious dance experience and obvious lack of knowledge. His comment "Three Times a Lady' is an exit song and one you break-up too, was worse than some of the recent music choices. Lionel wrote it after watching his parents at their wedding aniversary party. Hardly a break-up situation.
Ruth's comment about Simon will be alright if 'he pulls up a bit in his face' was insensitive after all the stories over the past 2 weeks about Simon's battles with depression. Eammon rambling on about him having the same face when he's concentrating, was too much, for too long.

PLEASE don't invite those two vaporous half-wits back again. I can see why they got married, like attracts like etc but how they both have TV careers is beyond me. Even Julian McDonald looked liked Einstein in comparison.

*Breathe in - Breathe out*

Rant over
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  saxonsiren on Fri Nov 07, 2014 7:45 pm

Id forgotten about The Lemon Tart award! Omg yes yes yes plonk The Holmes on top of it! Awful couple and they suit each other well!
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:45 am

This years bunch of needy celebs is 'doing my head in'. I'm developing mental health issues by association. It's like watching a Saturday night drama - Strictly Come Dancing Skid Row.

Caroline has dance talent. The only one not believing it is her. Simon was the same before his epiphany.

When she commits, like in her Charleston, she's a joy to watch, but I'm getting fed up of the 'I am not worthy' vibes she gives off, it drags all the enjoyment I have of watching her dance down for me. I feel like I'm being squeezed for a sympathy vote but I'm not voting for someone who is mentally trying to pin one of my arms up my back. Please vote for me because I've got all these issues. All the celebs have issues: Judy was a walking ironing board, Thom got cut short, Sunetra couldn't get her latin legs sorted out, Pixie just wants to have fun, Greg never got to wear any glittery costumes, Frankie's missing her baby, the non dancing Lobster etc.....  At least 'rent-a-speech' Mark, Simon, previously known as 'the stiff' and Frankie, try to hide their catalogue of fears on the dance floor, even if Mercy-me Mark and Simon the grateful then ramp up the sympathy votes on the VTs and social media.  

No matter what dance Caroline is doing, there's always a drama.  'I slipped at the beginning' (unfortunate - it happens - get over it -move on). There was another wardrobe malfunction or slip near the beginning of the series. Then there's the weekly agonising over her character (pick a strong one, or a happy one, for but gawd sake drop the whiny one, its not working for me).  'I was getting into the dance' (Rhumba - ok it's emotional) Even T ess regularly comments on her tears and the shell shocked state she's in walking from the end of the dance to the judges. This week Caroline was again in character turmoil - I have to want him, then hate him.... (like non of the other celebs have had that character problem) and once again she ended up clinging to Pasha like a limpet, begging for reassurance.  It sounded like even placid Pasha was telling her to pull herself together when they finished the AT.  I know Ollie Murs says she feeds off positive feedback, but even Pasha can't refloat someone who's got a Type 1 Titanic self esteem problem, it must be exhausting for him trying to constantly prop her up before he can teach her.   If she's so worried by how people are judging her, why go on a national dance competition with a judging panel? She could have just had private lessons.
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  Sid on Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:02 pm

I love a good Sunday rant!

I do get where you're coming from B4. I also get fed up of the whole "I don't believe in myself" and "Everyone tells me I'm good enough, I just need to convince myself" spiel, especially when it feels like they're saying deliberately for pity and to be molly-coddled. It's a bit X-Factor. In Caroline's case, I think she genuinely is affected by nerves and it makes her tentative but I find the whole "lack of self-belief" thing totally manipulative and fake when Mark comes out with it.
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:08 pm

Right on Sid.

Yes, I believe she has genuine problems, but she's been dancing with Pasha now for almost 4 months. To coin a phrase 's**t or get off the pot'. I don't do wallowing. If you've got a problem, get help, deal with it, have hypnotherapy, ANYTHING, just don't make me suffer as well!
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  Sid on Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:21 pm

B4p wrote:Right on Sid.

Yes, I believe she has genuine problems, but she's been dancing with Pasha now for almost 4 months. To coin a phrase 's**t or get off the pot'. I don't do wallowing. If you've got a problem, get help, deal with it, have hypnotherapy, ANYTHING, just don't make me suffer as well!

Yes I sort of just want them to get on with it! With Caroline, I wonder if it's also to do with Pasha's work ethic and the pressure she feels as a result. I must admit, their training sessions come across as the most intense to me. I know Caroline said jokingly on ITT about barely getting half an hour for lunch before Pasha had her on her feet again but sometimes I think it's possible you can over-train and a person ends up worrying about all the teeny tiny details that have been drilled into them to such an extent it can make their performance slightly jittery.


Last edited by Sid on Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:23 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  saxonsiren on Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:21 pm

It has become a "Celeb needy show" this year. At the start we all watch as they get tearful and do not believe they have any talent or they can dance! Yet slowly but surely we watch as they begin to bloom and grow each week in confidence.They see their scores rise and the public have voted for them.So why are we at Quater Final stage and it feels like week two and they are all panicking,crying,clinging onto anyone? A lot of the trouble stems from reality tv shows where people are encouraged to go on and on and on and on etc etc about their problems!
I want to feel their excitement about getting that step right or wow they are loving dancing each week! Sorry but negative me me me makes me feel down (see other post) A good old stiff upper lip comes to mind and a shove a sock in your gob as someone said on here when in front of judges!
Positive upbeat nature wins votes all the time. Sometimes all this talking about it all the time gets on ya wick and you stop listening!
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  Sid on Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:26 pm

Yes it's a NEEDINESS and it's slowly been creeping its way over from American television....then to XFactor....now to Strictly!
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:34 pm

Shame they don't learn The Jitterbug. She'd probably nail that one. I wonder if Pasha has been trying the Jordan's can of 'Toughen Up' and she's had an allergic reaction? I also wonder who called Ollie Murs in to soother her tortured soul? Was it Pasha or Caroline?

I think they're all working flat out now. Poor flu ridden Karen's been up past midnight with Mark all this week but she hasn't played on it, neither has Kevin although it must have affected his and Frankie's routine this week.  Janette's also been ill. I hope Kristina stays well, I'm starting to root for her.
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  saxonsiren on Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:42 pm

Im not sure who called Ollie maybe Pasha wondering if tough love the wrong idea? Or the producers wanting another celeb on VT? The pro's all seem to have a stiff upper lip and get on with it routine. Kevin I did feel wasn't firing on all cylinders this week due to being ill.Karen on ITT looked dead peaky too. I think because its their main job/income the pro dancees do get on with it.The celebs thou chose to earn some money,maybe get a tv contract out of their appearence yet do not often get the stiff upper lip routine and instead have a very PUBLIC meltdown!
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:47 pm

Rant Alert

affraid Tess is driving me INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! affraid

Not only has she stuck her head through the armhole of her dress this week, she continues her mission to CONSTANTLY interupt the Judges feedback. FFS Tess SHUT UP.

She is paid to be the celeb's advocate, and (lets be honest) be a pretty clothes horse. Her job description doesn't include adding her 5 pen'north about the intricasies of dance steps that she obviously know very little about.

Tess is NOT a judge. I don't want to hear her vapid opinions. I even prefer listening to her husband on ITT. He seems to be far more dance savvy than Tess, despite her many years on the show.

STOP begging for celeb 10's. It's not Tess's place (or Zoe's). Frankly, it's cringeworthy, and embarrassing.

As a celeb advocate, PLEASE start treating them with a bit of respect. They are not cute, oldies to pity, or hunks to drool over. Let's face it, Tess is old enough to be most of the celeb's mother. Squirmville.  

Until new material is used, or a more modern script writer found, Tess's excrutiating spoutisms will be directed to the land of mute button. Thank heaven for being able to record the show, and fast forward through all the Tess twonk.

Here endeth today's rant. Now where's those blood pressure tablets?
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  saxonsiren on Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:59 pm

Possibly this could be the end of Tess reign and C.laudia? If A.non 8snt given the judges spot I can see him with E.rin double presenters in 2017. C.laudia could still be in the couples after the dance den.......
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:10 pm

Something needs to change sax that's for sure
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  mauveangel09 on Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:34 pm

Don't normally post on this thread but I have to say I so agree with you - both of you.

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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  B4p on Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:15 pm

Just a quiet corner to vent in mauve. It's alright - nobody's listening anyway Cool
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Re: The Lemon Tart Thread

Post  mauveangel09 on Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:33 pm

I love it Laughing Laughing

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